Several months back, God had me go through something that really helped me have a settled peace. Just knowing He is in charge and in control and that we have to forget about ourselves and what we want or think.
I went through one weekend just miserable with myself and how things didn't work out like I wanted them to or thought they should. It got to the point that one thing after another happened and I had to stop and say, "Okay God, what are you doing here?"
I picked up the Preacher Clark stories, the very last chapter that we have (not sure if it is chapter 4 or 5) and sat on my screen porch and read that chapter. There was one story after another of how Preacher Clark handled things in his life. His calmness and peace that he carried with him really stuck out to me.
One story in particular was of him walking down the street with a friend and someone yelled something ugly to Preacher Clark from across the road. Preacher Clark's friend asked if he was going to take that and Preacher Clark said, "No, I don't want it. Do you?" He didn't feel the need to yell back or even comment about what was said to the man beside him.
Another story was of Preacher Clark working on a roofing job. He had told his boss to let him know if he did anything that the boss didn't like and he would take his pay up to date and leave. But in return he asked the boss not to yell or talk ugly to him. So one day Preacher Clark was on the roof top with another guy and the boss came up and started yelling ugly words up to them. Preacher Clark didn't say anything, but took off his work belt and came down off the roof and handed the tool belt to the boss. The boss man said, "Oh I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the other guy up there with you." Preacher Clark put on his tool belt and went back up to work. He didn't say anything to the boss, nothing at all.
Now when I read these 2 stories, inparticular, I felt a lightswitch go on. God was showing me to keep my peace. No matter what anyone says or does, if I like it or not. If someone does something I don't agree with, keep your peace. God then showed me that I complained and was miserable because things were going all wrong and not the way I wanted them to and that we have to get to a point that we are miserable enough to ask Him why and for help.
We are asking God to help perfect us and make us like Him. But when we are going through something that helps us to be more perfected, we complain, "Oh God why is it so hard.? Why am I having such a hard time?" And God is saying, "You asked me to fix you and perfect you, and that is what I am doing."
That was so good to me! After that day, several months back, I have had a peace like none I have had before. I had to get over Julie; what Julie wants and what Julie thinks. What Julie thinks others think or to just let others do what they want to do.
I am so thankful for those few miserable days, because it caused me to get so miserable that I had to go ask God why.
